My fellow blogger and online friend Bernie Michalik posted today “On futzing around with code“. A key thing for me was the reminder about how much I enjoy coding. To be clear, coding is most enjoyable when it WORKS. Over the years, I’ve had a lot of fun building programs, tweaking things, and exploring how it all works.
Currently, though, I struggle with coding. It is deeply frustrating when it doesn’t work. As I step back and look, I see it’s challenging some of my deepest insecurities. Computer programming is for “smart” people, and I have some deep insecurities around this. More things to work out, I see.
So, when the code doesn’t work, it rattles those old fears, those old pains. Then I get angry and frustrated quickly, driving me to quit my project. My stubborn streak often brings me back, and I never regret coming back and getting it to work (I guess two negatives do make a positive). Figuring out these bugs makes me feel like a wizard. It’s amazing! But the downs are awful.
I think when I decided to study web application development, with the goal of launching the next part of my career there, I put a huge amount of pressure on myself. That robbed much of the fun. If every time I’m building something, I’m focused on how this will help build a programming career. When I’m in a beginners mind, curious, having fun and not concerned about the end product, coding is still fun.
Reflecting on Bernie’s post, I think I need to dive back into code, but focus on having fun. Just enjoy the work, the journey.
