Category: Life That Matters

Thoughts upon this evening 

Carl Setzer

​It was lovely day, by my standards, at least. Yeah, a bit wet in the morning, but the afternoon turned out nice. Well, not pouring down. 

Got a walk in after lunch. Still haven’t made my 10,000 steps, though. Ah, my sedentary life! My fitbit drives me forward to a more active life. Helping me clear my mind, enabling me to focus better, to be more present, not all lost, in my head, dealing with some random element or another. 

Spent the evening talking with some friends, and the daughter of one of them. It was quite a charming hour. Reminded me of the “plan” all those many years ago to have a second child, ostensibly a daughter. 

I was struck, as I considered time, how intensely short it is from diapers to adulthood. Talking with this girl, it hits me that she’s existed only a tiny fraction of my life. And yet she’s clever, witty, bright and engaging. Full of ideas, knowledge and life. 

This is why I work so hard to be in the “now” of life. It’s so fleeting. This girl will soon be in middle school, driving, off to college. As will my son. It’s fleeting. I must savor this moment, as it will waft away, watched or not. Once gone, it’s dead. 

I see this as the ultimate manifestation of love. To be here, be aware of the now, fully engaged in this moment, with these people. Now. It’s all we got. 

Thought of the day

Carl Setzer

What’s done is done. Lesson learned, move forward.

I have a tendency to obsess over things where I was less than perfect. It’s rather destructive.

I’m learning to simply say “I can’t undo the past” and move along. Learning…not there yet.

Going forward. Feels like more of a challenge than it should be. I guess that means I have work to do.

Your Monday Positive Message

Carl Setzer
learn from mistakes, don't deny them
learn from mistakes, don't deny them
learn from mistakes, don’t deny them

This is an easy trap to fall into. For me, at least, when I deny my mistakes, they haunt my dreams, pushing me towards facing and accepting them.

It’s sometimes painful and almost always challenging. But, always, it’s worth it.

It’s already a busy week in Seattle area real estate, this morning flew by. Check out my real estate blogging here.

The glory of special snowflakes

Carl Setzer

​I’ve heard the idea that “we’re all special snowflakes” used derisively. I take issue with that, yet also get the concern. 

Acknowledging uniqueness often gets mistaken for privilege. That we’re supposed to bend rules, expect exceptions. Because of our wonderful uniqueness. I see something quite different. 

EVERYONE is unique and wonderful made. There’s no privilege to our exceptional gifts and talents. Yet there is joy in finding that way of contributing. By becoming the best we can be, we make the world around us better. Maybe not transforming the earth, all of humanity, maybe just a small, local piece.

In this world of social commoditization, where mediocrity is the safe place, pushing ourselves, and everyone nearby, towards joyously maximizing their unique giftedness, with a humble, thankful heart, is powerful. It’s what will save our rage filled, egocentric society from itself. 

Dreaming Big – Living Beyond The Doable

Carl Setzer

I’ve been reading Gary Keller’s “One Thing”, which defines three types of goals: doable, stretch & possible. “Doable”, of course, is the low hanging fruit, the no/low risk path. “Stretch” pushes you, but you’re still within the view of “limits”; some more risk and more effort than “doable”. Then we have “possible”. Well, I don’t like Keller’s term, but we’ll go with it. Because “possible” really pushes our mind past what we view as possible. It’s not about what we think as possible, but pushing past our viewed limits and discovering the truly possible. I like “beyond possible”, but I think that would push people away from trying, as much as “impossible” would. 

Ah, the “impossible!” I don’t believe in impossibilities. Rather, possibilities limited by either vision or a lack of technological progress. In Michio Kaku’s “Physics of the Impossible”, he defines three types of impossibilities: class 1, 2 & 3. Class 1 are technologically impossible, but don’t violate physical laws. Conceiving of a world with them isn’t that hard. Class 2 exist at the very edge of our understanding. And Class 3 requires a different understanding of physical laws. All three have been pushed past over the course of history. So, with that, I believe that most, if not all statements of “impossible” really are statements of limited vision. 

So, with that, you’d think I’ve been living a life pushing past the impossible, setting all my goals in the “possible” realm. No. I’ve struggled pushing into “possible”. Heck, “stretch” is emotionally challenging. Why? Fear, the fear of hitting my limits, I guess. The fear of disappointing those I care about? I’m not sure. The roots of this are years of limiting messages fed into me, myriad sources, manifest voices; probably all well meaning. Now, though I see it’s time to give up on the psychoanalysis and move. Work on believing in myself. It’s the message I’m trying to pass along to those around me. Because I very deeply believe that this is the root of all innovation. And letting yourself be limited is the root of much human suffering.

I’ve limited myself so very much by focusing on “doable” dreams. That’s the source of my internal dissatisfaction. I’ve limited myself, and I feel the edges of that box. I hate it. Deeply. Fighting my way past has been infernally challenging. Probably, the lack of awareness of what in shooting for, what I feel called for has been limiting. I hope by having it better defined, I may push past, finally. The battle continues.

Fund A Triathalete

Carl Setzer

Hey gang,

A good friend of mine, Daniel Flahiff, has qualified for the World Triathlon Grand Final Auckland this October. As you can imagine, raising the ~$4,000 for travel is out of reach. However, through the power of the internet, all of us have the opportunity to lend a hand. Via his Go Fund Me site, we all have the chance to share in funding this dream.

Besides have the vested interest in seeing a chum do something great and once-in-a-lifetime, I’m also pleased that the internet offers up ways to crowdsource solutions like this. Perhaps, pre-internet, a bunch of us would hold a car-wash, maybe engage a local tv or radio station, and have a small scale crowdsource through a local bank.

So, yay to www.gofundme.com for offering up such tools, the internet (Twitter, Facebook, et al) to broadcast this sort of thing out, and, of course, the generosity of strangers…which is, ultimately, what makes these sorts of things work.

Here’s a video about the event: