Category: Personal Reflections

Lessons learned about life; pearls of wisdom I’ve gleaned through pain, failure and honest reflection

“Be myself? I’d rather die.”

Carl Setzer
one black chess piece separated from red pawn chess pieces

Substack has a feature where they serve up posts that I might like. Not all of them have been been hits, much less home runs (wait…why the hell am I serving up sports analogies?). But this one was good! “Be myself? I’d rather die“, a post by psychologist Adam Mastroianni, and it looks at many things, but the focus that spoke to me was on the evolutionary value of conformity.

TLDR: social norms are one way we communicate our learnings about survival. He references cassava, which is edible ONLY when prepared correctly. Otherwise, it’s potentially lethal. Makes me think of the Hebrew proscription about pork, as an other example.

It’s rather eye opening to consider that social norms are often survival mechanisms. And, thus, that feeling of “needing to obey them”, even when they don’t seem to match make much more sense.

I want to remind folks, though, that as valuable as those learnings are, it’s the people willing to push through the norms and challenge are the ones that change things. I’m sure, at one point, no one ate cassava as it’s rather problematic until “treated”. Yet someone, somewhere, said, “I think I can eat this”, and, for whatever reason, we stumbled through it and the world was changed.

I appreciate the insights, especially on why the urge to conform is so damn powerful. However, I intend to live my somewhat contrarian life. I’ve enjoyed most of it so far.

A morning meditation for you, my friends

Carl Setzer

I have plenty of moments when I don’t trust my gut. When my heart screams out, but I don’t believe that it can be right. I’m working on that, though.

I deeply value the arts, and have encouraged many to pursue that path. Even when it’s likely they’ll not attain wealth and privilege. So, this post sings to me.

So, I pray you find your place. Find the beautiful place within yourself. And share it boldly.

Early morning thoughts

Carl Setzer

I’m wondering at what my path forward looks like. I love technology, in all it’s variety, and blended in insanity. Yet I adore people, too. Helping guide folks, especially in terms of projects. Helping organize people into effective teams, to see the value each of us offer, and to feel the wonderful sensation of meeting goals. That’s delightful to me.

I’ve been told many times over the years that I’d be great as a manager. I wonder, though, as my values don’t align with the current “presentation” of the successful manager. I stand against the idea of people/teams simply being consumables to extract the most value from before they’re discarded.

So, I sit and ponder when I should be sleeping. It is the Way, I guess.

Some thoughts on community

Carl Setzer2 Comments
Ubuntu

I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of community lately during this time where we celebrate avarice and cruelty. Years ago, I discovered Steven Covey’s “7 Habits”, and one of his cornerstone principles is “interdependence”. This idea that we need each other, that our ideal state is working together, the over-used idea of “synergy”. That the whole collective is greater than the sum of the parts. It deeply resonated with me and it’s a concept I hold tightly to.

A related notion: Ubuntu. No, not the Linux variant, but the African concept of the criticalness of community. It roughly translates to “I am because you are”. This feels a lot like the notion of “Namaste”, or “I see you”.

Anyway, a friend of mine wrote a post where she explores Ubuntu. I thought she did such a fine job that I thought I’d share with you: “Big thoughts ep. 13: Ubuntu“. Enjoy!